Remember Me
by heathsie
Summary: Alex has been dreaming again and has the feeling she is about to return to 2008 whether she wants to or not. Can she figure out what she wants in time to tell Gene? Please R&R :


**This is an idea that's been bugging me for a while and I thought I'd get it down before the start of S3 on Friday :D :D :D**

**It ended up a LOT longer than it was in my head but once I started writing I couldn't seem to stop.**

**Not brilliant but I hope you enjoy!! (Un-Beta'd so any mistakes are my own).**

_I have to tell him now._

"Gene, stop the car."

"Huh? What's up with ya Bolly?" Gene took a quick glance at the speedometer. " 'm under the limit ... nearly"

"Just stop the car."

"You sick?"

"Would you just stop the car for one _bloody _minute?" Alex's voice was getting louder.

"Alright, alright woman, stop bloody shouting at me. You're the one acting like a fruitcake .... again."

He pulled over, rather ungracefully, to the curb and secured the handbrake. He waited for Alex to speak.

* * *

Ten minutes earlier DCI Gene Hunt and DI Alex Drake had been sat behind their respective desks at Fenchurch East police station, combing over several witness statements relating to a post office blag the previous day.

In reality, Alex had been trying her best to keep out of Gene's way all morning. They had arrived on the scene to find the robbers had worn masks, said very little and long since dissappeared with the takings from the till. Consequently, CID currently had very little to go on and the Guv was not in the best of moods.

Gene had ordered the team to get as many statements as possible from all the post office staff and customers, as well as anyone who might have been in the area at the time of the robbery. By the time everyone had finished and made it back to the station it was clocking off time and Gene, having had more than enough for one day, had sent them all home.

Alex had not been surprised to see him already sat in his office pouring over the statements when she arrived at a little after eight that morning.

_He hates not getting a result. The thought that some scrawny little scrote out there has robbed a post office and given him the slip really irks him. _

Tossing her jacket onto her desk, Alex ventured into the lion's den. "Guv?"

Gene had obviously not heard her enter the office and she saw him physically jump at the sound of her voice.

"Bloody 'ell Bols, ya try'na give me a 'eart attack?"

Alex folded her arms across her chest. "Sorry Guv, you're in early this morning?"

Gene looked back down at the statement in front of him. "Scum to catch Bolly. Bastards are still out there."

Alex felt a smile tug at the corners of her mouth. _He really does care. _"Need a hand?"

"Wha' kinda hand ya offerin' Bolly-Knickers?"

_He's also a chauvanistist dinosaur. _"With the paperwork?" She looked pointedly down at the statements scattered about on his desk.

She didn't miss the look of mock-surprise on his face. "Sure, knock ya'self out Bolly-Knickers."

Alex had taken half the pile from Gene's desk and returned to own. The rest of the team had arrived in dribs and drabs over the next hour. Ray and Chris were not so impressed when Gene tasked them with door-to-door inquiries throughout the surrounding area of the post office. There hadn't really been enough time the previous night and seen as the statements were proving anything but useful, Gene thought maybe a more personal touch would jog some memories.

Since then, Alex had been getting increasingly frustrated by the lack of any potential leads. Almost an hour had passed since Ray and Chris had departed and she was guessing from the lack of contact that they were achieveing about as much as she was reading the statements over and over again. _Absolutely nothing. _She was about to take a break and make a cuppa when she heard movement coming from Gene's office. She looked up just in time to see him grab his coat off the hook and march out of CID. "Drake, with me, now."

"Yesiree", she muttered sarcastically to herself as she slipped on her own jacket and followed him out to the Quattro.

* * *

Now sat parked on a busy London street in the Quattro, Alex had Gene's full, undivided attention and she was suddenly very nervous. _Where do I start?_

Recently she had been having more and more vivid dreams about her life in 2008. She had begun to see Molly again after months of thinking she must have died back home because she could no longer conjure up the image of her daughter. The links she had to 2008 seemed to become weaker and weaker until she had started to forget things. Simple things like names and dates and places. But then the important stuff like the sound of Molly's voice and the names of her friends. The few friends she had back there anyway. They weren't like the friends she'd made in this world. They didn't even come close.

Molly had told her that she was so close to waking up now. The bullet had been removed and her condition was showing signs of improvement, she just needed one final push to wake up. Alex had no idea what that final push could be but she felt that it was close and that it probably wasn't going to be a very pleasant experience. _I was shot to get me here .... maybe that's the answer. Maybe I have to die in this world to get back to Molly._

The thought should have scared Alex but it didn't. She'd survived a bullet before and if that was the only way to get home then she had to take it. It hadn't made sense to her at first since the last few weeks had been unusually calm at Fenchurch East; no stabbings, no shootings, no serious crime at all really. But then the call had come through yesterday about the armed shooting at the post office and ever since then, Alex hadn't been able to shake the feeling that the time for her to go home had finally arrived.

Gene apparently got tired of waiting for her to figure it out. "Come on Bols, ya better spit it out sharpish. There's an armed blag about to go down and the little scrotes responsible are not givin' the Gene Genie the slip twice in as many days."

"Would you just shut up for one minute?" Alex snapped much harsher than she intended and then immediately felt awful.

The surprise evident on his face and the way he pursed his lips together in that customary pout of his made her stomach do a wee little flip. If she wasn't so agitated about what she had to tell him she would've smiled at the way his gaze dropped to the steering wheel in front of him and his fingers tightened their grip on it. He was obviously uncomforatble at being told what to do, but to her surprise he remained silent.

"Gene I'm sorry, it's just-" Alex placed her hand gently on his leg to try and reassure him of her apology but recoiled instantly when he visably jumped at her touch.

Gene was still staring straight ahead and Alex could gauge nothing from his facial expression, but she didn't need a degree in psychology to read from his body language that he was tense and uncomfortable.

_With me? Because of the armed blag? Because I'm acting like a fruitcake again? _Alex decided to press on. They were parked only a few minutes from the predicted target building and the tip-off they'd recieved suggested they had over half an hour before the robbers struck.

Placing her hands on her own knee's Alex drew in a deep breath, exhaled and started again.

"Gene, I'm sorry but this is important."

"So's an armed robbery at a busy bank in central London." He didn't move a muscle.

Alex was more than a little unnerved at his demeanour but knew she had to carry on. _This might be the last chance I get._

"We have plenty of time Gene, if the tip-off was even correct." She paused. "There's something I need to tell you and this might be the last .... best chance I get", she amended mid-sentence.

"Don' half pick ya times Bolly." He still hadn't looked up and Alex felt a twinge of irritation. _Sod it._

"Gene I might have to go away soon." His head shot up. _That got his attention._

Alex waited for him to speak, those piercing blue eyes of his boring into the hazel of her own.

"Away?" She nodded, a lump forming in her throat. "For good?"

"I think so."

Gene's gaze returned to the steering wheel briefly before he sniffed and looked back at Alex.

"You wait until we're on our way to a shout to tell me you've finally had enough of the scenery round here and you're putting in for a transfer ... again." Gene's voice remained calm but Alex could detect a note of something else hidden within his words. _Anger? Disappointment? Relief?_

That lump was growing and she decided to stick with safer ground for the moment. "Again?"

"You've not bene here two years yet."

"Gene, I'm not putting in for a transfer."

"Promotion then is it? Superintendent moving you upstairs with the big-wigs is he?" There was no mistaking the disdain in his voice now. He made as if to restart the car and Alex heard herself shouting.

"Don't you dare start that _bloody _car yet and _no_ Gene he's not." _God, he can be so infuriating. _"It's got nothing to do with the Super .... or anyone else for that matter. I have no choice."

"Bols, despite fear of repeating myself I gotta tell ya, ya aint making any sense."

_And it's only going to get worse. _"I know Gene I'm trying, it's just ..."

"What?"

"Difficult."

"What's difficult Bolly?" Gene shifted round a little in his seat so he was facing her. "What ain't ya telling me Alex?"

Alex felt her heart miss a beat at his use of her first name. _I can't believe how hard this is. _"You remember I mentioned I had a daughter?"

Gene nodded. "Of course."

"Well since I arrived here it's been really hard for me to see her. I mean I got glimpses when I first got here, every now and again she would appear but lately ... she's stopped talking to me."

"Alex, if ya ex is preventin' ya from seeing ya own daughter, I swear to God I will personally make sure he has to eat out of a straw for the remainder of his pathetic little life."

Alex felt an unexpected rush of emotion. _Why does he keep that heart of his so well hidden all the time? _But she knew the answer. _He's been hurt before. Just like I have. _She'd never really talked that much about Molly to him except to say she existed. _He couldn't possibly understand. _

She realised she hadn't said anything for a moment and although she was looking down at her hands, she could feel Gene's gaze burning into her body.

"I mean it Alex."

She let out a chuckle and placed her hand back on his arm. This time he didn't react. "I know you do Gene and I appreciate the offer." _More than you'll ever know. _"I really do but that's not the way it is. She's just so far away and after ... some things that have happened recently I think I could be going back to her very soon."

He tore his eyes away and looked out the front window.

"I just want you to know that if something does happen to me. Something bad where I'm hurt or ... or worse-"

"Aint nothing gonna happen to ya while I'm around Bolly."

Alex felt her insides melt. _How does he do that? One minute he's shouting at me and the next he's talking as though I'm the most important thing in his life?_

Looking at the man sat in the seat beside her Alex was surprised at how hard it was going to be not having Gene Hunt in her life. The longer she remained in 1982 the more she was realising how much she was going to miss him when she returned home. She had never met another man like Gene Hunt in her life and despite all the bickering and the put-downs Gene really had become such a constant support in her life. She wasn't sure how well she would've coped in this world without him there to ground her and protect her. She recalled all the times Gene had come to her rescue over the past couple of years. Despite all the initial reservations about his out-dated police methods, Alex had grown to see that his heart was almost always in the right place and she'd come to trust him with her life.

And it wasn't just Gene she would miss. Although younger than herself Shaz had become a close friend to Alex and the DI was convinced the young WPC would one day make a fantastic detective. She would even miss the comedy double act of Ray and Chris and the daily bustle of CID life in 1982.

_This is how Sam felt_, she realised. _Sam chose to come back here to these people. To Annie. But he didn't have anything left to go back to in 2006. Much as I too have grown to love these people, I have to see Molly again; I have to take care of my daughter. _Alex could feel the tears beginning to brim in her eyes and she tried to blink them away. _How do I explain that to Gene? He deserves the truth but that's the one thing I can never tell him. _

"Gene, this has nothing to do with you or Fenchurch East. I have to go back to my daughter. But that doesn't mean I won't miss ... things from this place."

He looked back at her and Alex couldn't stop herself placing her hand on the side of his face to cup his cheek. All the tension from earlier seemed to have dissapaited and now Alex saw a flash of sadness deep in his eyes.

What he said next came as such a shock that she was speechless for a moment. "I don't want you to go Alex."

_Sentiment from Gene Hunt? _"Gene-"

Gene stopped whatever she was about to say by placed a gloved finger on her lips. Alex couldn't have formed any words even if Gene moved his finger. The closeness of him as they sat in the Quattro, the smell of cigarettes and aftershave invading her senses rendered her helpless as he moved his fingers to trace the contours of her chin and neck. Their eyes remained locked.

Before she had time to register what was happening Gene had replaced his fingers with his mouth, sucking gently. Alex closed her eyes, and her mind, to everything but the sensations Gene was sending crashing through her body with the warm caress of his mouth over her skin. She brought her hands up to tangle in his hair as he moved his attention to the sensitive spot just below her ear.

_This isn't right, we should stop. _She meant to say _Gene_ but it came out more as a moan as she felt his teeth graze over her lower lobe.

The smell of him was intoxicating now and Alex could feel the heat rushing down to her centre. She was unable to stifle a quiet moan of protest when he pulled back sometime later. Opening her eyes she felt her breath hitch as she saw the saw the emotion and desire she felt reflected back at her in Gene's darkened pupils.

The only coherent thought Alex could piece together in that moment was just how close they still were and how much she wanted Gene to kiss her. _More than I've ever wanted to be kissed before. _Seconds passed and neither of them moved. _What is he waiting for? Can't he see the effect he's having on me? _

Then it suddenly dawned on her; he was waiting for _her _to make the first move.

Without hesitation Alex leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Gene responded instantly and she felt every nerve ending throughout her body explode as Gene ran his tongue along her upper lip and slid it against her own after she parted her lips to grant him access.

Alex brought her hands down from where they were tangling amongst his hair and began loosening his tie. Gene untucked her blouse from the front of her jeans and was rubbing circles into her hip with his long fingers. His proximity was severly hampering her ability to concentrate and she'd only managed to discrad the tie and undo the top two buttons on his shirt when the radio on the dashboard spluttered to life.

"Guv? Ma'am?" Gene and Alex shot apart. "Guv ya there?"

Alex could feel the flush in her cheeks as Gene snatched up the radio. "Somebody better be dead Ray."

"Might be if ya don't get down here soon Guv. Suspects have turned up early."

"Shit." Alex was tucking her shirt back in and trying to catch her breath. _Did that really just happen? In the Quattro? _She tried to focus back in on the conversation.

"They're inside the bank now waving their guns about like maniacs."

"Bastards." Gene seemed incapable of forming a phrase with more than one word. _I know how he feels. Jesus if Ray hadn't interrupted us ... _She pushed the thought away just in time to have Gene shove the radio into her hands, turn on the engine and pull away from the curb.

Her heart was still racing and she could see her hair sticking out at weird angles in the wing-mirror as they sped towards the crime scene. She could see that Gene had already switched into _'Guv'_ mode but she had to try again.

"Gene do you remember what I said?"

He took his eyes off the road long enough to wiggle his eyebrows at her. "Remember what you did better Bolly-Knickers,"

Alex shook her head good-naturedly at his exaggerated male-chauvinism but she knew she had to press her point. "Gene do you remember?"

"What's the big deal Bolly?"

"I just want you to understand Gene. I need you to know that if something happens to me it might not be as bad as it seems. That maybe I'll be okay."

"I definitely don't understand Bolly. I don't understand anything 'cept the fact you're a bloody looney-tune most of the time."

"Only most of the time?" Alex teased as she felt yet another pang. _This is what I'll miss, the teasing, and the bickering. It keeps me alive._

"All the bloody time!"

"You'll miss me when I'm not here", she muttered without thinking.

Alex felt the tension from earlier sweep back into the car in an instant. "Why ya always talkin' 'bout leavin' Alex? We really that bad 'round 'ere?"

"I've already told you Gene, it's not about you, I have no choice."

Gene simply sniffed.

"Please Gene if I mean anything to you at all just remember this one thing for me. Just remember that I'm back where I-" She had started to say 'belong' but she wasn't sure that was the right word anymore. _Sure this world may in fact be a figment of my imagination but I feel more at home here than I ever did in 2008. If it wasn't for Molly ... _She shook the thought away. _You can't think that. Molly is your daughter and you love her. She is THE most important hting in your life. _"I'll be back where I should be", she amended. "And I'll be safe." _At least I think I will, if they've managed to get the bullet out without any permanent damage to my brain._

Alex could see they were getting close to the bank now and she knew she had to focus on her job. The feeling that something out of her control was about to happen had returned.

Reaching a row of parked police vehicles Gene pulled in behind a squad car and killed the engine. Alex grabbed his arm before he could escape the car.

"Please Gene I mean it. You have to know that I'll be ok no matter what happens. It's what is supposed to happen and there's nothing either of us can do to stop it ok?"

"Bols I-"

"Shh Gene please just listen a minute." She could see the irritation in his face but he kept quiet. "If, when, it happens there's a letter for you in my desk. Bottom drawer. You have to read it ok? There's some stuff in there that you won't understand and you'll think I've lost the plot-"

Gene snorted.

She carried on. "But you have to believe me. You have to know I'm safe and that there was nothing you could've done ok? You've done so much for me already Gene, more than you'll ever know and for that I want to say thank-you and I'll never, ever forget you."

Alex had pushed open the door and was out of the car before Gene could speak. _Best not to give him the chance to ask any questions. If I make it through this shout today I'll deal with it then. Better to be safe than sorry, if something happens I need him to know._

_

* * *

  
_

"Drake no, get down", she heard Gene's frantic shouting but was frozen to the spot.

The next few seconds seemed to happen in slow motion. Alex felt the bullet rip into her stomach and knock the breath from her lungs. It felt like a dream; she could feel nothing as she placed a hand over her stomach and saw the blood seeping out between her fingers. She heard shouting around her as more shots were fired but she couldn't make out what was happening.

Suddenly the pain registered in her brain and her knees gave way beneath her sending her crumpling to the floor of the bank. She tried to put a hand out to steady herself but she felt weak and her arm crumbled beneath her.

Despite the obvious physical pain racking its way mercilessly through her body, Alex thought she would feel relieved when she knew it was finally coming to an end. She had spent the last few months preparing herself for this very moment. _You knew this was coming. All the signs said it would be soon and now you've been given what you want. You can go home to Molly and Evan and get back to how your life used to be. _

But suddenly now that the time was here she felt very scared. She knew that staying in this world was not an option and had come to terms with the fact that she had to choose between Molly and Gene. What she hadn't prepared herself for was just how hard that choice was going to be.

She hadn't let herself think of anything but getting back to her daughter. Molly needed her and that was the most important thing in the world. Gene might enjoy her company on occasion and maybe even value her psychological insights on cases, although he would never admit it, but he didn't need her. Not in the way that a daughter needs her mother and a mother needs her child. But she realised she did need Gene. _Just in a different way to the way I need Molly. Ever since I got here I've been scared and alone and my time with Gene has been the only thing that's kept me going. All the times we've sat in Luigi's drinking with the team, the little arguments we have over silly little things that shouldn't matter and the way he always seems to ride to my rescue when I'm in trouble. I do need him and I ... I'll miss him so much when I leave this place but that's the way it has to be. No matter how much it hurts. _

She closed her eyed and forced herself to forget about everything except the beautiful face of her daughter, praying that the searing pain would soon subside and she could open her eyes to modern-day doctors and nurses.

But the Gods weren't going to be that kind to her.

Feeling arms around her lifting her up her eyes flew open in confusion. She was still lying on the cold, hard floor of a 1982 bank, blood seeping from the gunshot wound in her stomach and she looked up.

"Guv...?" she rasped out, her throat dry. Gene had lifted her top half up off the floor, gathering her up in his arms and rocking her backwards and forwards ever so slightly. She couldn't help but feel instantly safe in arms, just like she had in the vault at Edgehampton and when he'd pulled her out of Chas Cale's freezer all those months ago. She loved that feeling and felt herself surrender to it just for a few seconds, even though she knew that was little he could do for her this time.

"Shhh, don't try and talk Bolly. Just for once in ya life listen to the Gene Genie and do as ya told." He sounded stern, angry even, but Alex caught the tone of worry in his voice and could feel the thump of his heart as it raced in his chest beneath her ear. She longed to reach up and press her hand over the exact spot she had done when they'd first met. It seemed so long ago now and so much had happened. Gene noticed her trying to life her arm and laced his fingers through hers pressing their interlinked hands against his chest and bowed his head to place his chin on top of them.

"You hold on in there Bolly ok, Chris has rung for an ambulance and they'll be here any minute. Don't you dare die on me Detective Inspector, I am your senior officer and that's an order."

Alex smiled inwardly at his words and the concern but she knew what was coming. Her breath was coming in short rasps now as she sobbed in pain and couldn't stop her body from shivering. The only warmth she could feel at that moment, her only link to life itself, was from Gene's hand holding hers tightly and she gripped even harder when she felt him try to pull away.

"S'ok Bolly I aint going anywhere, just gonna give ya my coat, you're shivering for fun there. Gotta get ya warm, the ambulance is on its way."

"Warm ..."

"I know ya dozy cow, ya need my coat."

Alex squeezed his hand again and tried to get across her meaning. "Your hand ... warm ... you ... Gene ..."

"I'm here Bolly, just let me-" He was interrupted by her coughing.

She felt him drop her hand from his chest and move it behind her to softly stroke up and down her back.

Once the coughing had ceased, Alex tried to speak again. "Gene ... you know what I said ... remember ... I have to go-"

"You're not going anywhere Alex", Gene's voice was stern and she felt his arms tighten a little around her. A fresh wave of tears began to fall from her eyes and she knew these were caused by her sadness rather than the pain in her stomach.

"Gene, I'm sorry ... I have to go ... Molly, she's waiting."

"Alex, you can't leave, I ... I need you." Alex thought she could see his eyes moisten but her vision was blurry thanks to her own tears so she couldn't be sure.

"Don't need me", she whispered with a smile. "... Miss you Gene ... always remember you ... don't forget me."

"Alex stop it, you're going to be fine. I can hear the ambulance now. You'll soon be back in that office shaking ya arse about shouting at me for no bloody reason."

Her eyes were getting heavier and she tried her best to fight it. _Just a few more seconds, just a little while longer, I need to tell him ... _

Alex was sure she felt his body wrack with a sob as she muttered her final words. "Remember Gene, always remember..."

* * *

Gene was sat at his desk in CID, whiskey chaser in one hand and Alex's letter in the other. It had been a week since he'd lost her. One of the lads involved in the blag had decided to try and shoot his way out of the bank after Alex had talked his associates down and gotten them to surrender their weapons, fearing his sentence would be longer than the others due to previous convictions. _Bastard!_

Ray had shot the cop-killer from behind a couple of seconds after he'd pulled the trigger on Alex and the rest of the outfit were safely secure in prison cells awaiting trial as accomplices to the murder of a senior police officer.

_Murder, _Gene thought with a knot in his stomach, one that had become increasingly familiar over the last week every time he thought about Alex, walked past her desk, caught a whiff of the same perfume she used to wear off some woman in the street. He sighed. _The bastard murdered Alex in cold blood. _

He'd remembered what Alex had said to his with her last breath. Her dying request had been that he remembered and never forgot. At first he'd thought she'd meant that she didn't want him to forget her after she ... was gone but then a couple of days went by with Gene drinking and smoking and shouting at anyone who dared address him and he suddenly remembered what she'd said in the car on the way to the robbery.

He'd been in the office anyway, hadn't really gone home since it happened, and went to find the letter straight away. Unable to open it there and then but safe in the knowledge it was now in his possession he'd locked it away in a drawer in his desk, saving it for another day.

Four days later and Gene once again found himself sat in his office, unable to face going home after her funeral. The service had been adequate; he had to admit Shaz had done a fantastic job and Gene knew Alex would have loved the readings and hymns the young WPC had picked out. She herself had tried to give a reading, not from the Bible but telling of her own personal experience with Alex and how much she looked up to her as a woman, a Detective Inspector in the Metropolitan police and also as a friend. Breaking down halfway through her words, Chris had gone up to comfort her while Gene himself had taken the stand and finished reading what Shaz had written down. Originally refusing the opportunity to speak at the service, he'd realised sitting there listening to all her friends and colleagues that he did need to say something after all. _She would've wanted me to._

Everyone had gone over to Luigi's now where his wife had put on some food and Gene had promised to make an appearance later on. He knew he had something to do first.

Looking up from re-reading the letter in his hand a second time, Gene felt his face break into a genuine smile as he thought about the woman who's changed his life the moment she'd crashed into it almost two years ago.

He raised his glass to an empty office, his eyes finding her desk in the far corner. "To Bolly-knickers. I'll never forget you Alex."

**What did you think? Not sure about the ending tbh – was going to add what she could have wrote in the letter but I like the thought of a little ambiguity. Reviews very welcome :) xx**


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